Firstly, the garden. Well it looks amazing and all the hard work was worth it. This is what it looked like beforehand:
By the end of Thursday, after a lot of hard work by my mum, my uncle, and my neighbour Bill, it looked like this:
Bill, my lovely neighbour, even sorted my front garden out for me. He got rid of an old bush, and relaid all the concrete patio slabs... I felt very fortunate last week. Not least when my mum bravely saved me from the shed full of spiders:
Thanks Mum..... I did feel a bit bad as I cut back the brambles etc., because beforehand although the garden was a jungle, the bees, butterflies, and frogs, were loving it.... I'm hoping that, even with my anti green fingers, I'll be able to control the brambles and other plants, so that they don't take over the garden but do provide cover and food for insects etc. I even found the paddling pool, which was very useful as a giant washing up bowl, lol. All in all it was a great week, even if it didn't start off so well....
Oh yes, last Monday....I was due to have my appeal against the removal of my ESA heard, my mum had come down a day earlier so that she could come with me. I was on the bus, on the way into town to get the train to Havant, for the tribunal (at 10:40am) when (at 9:29am) I received a call from the Tribunal service telling me that they were cancelling it. Yes. An hour before it was due to start. Needless to say I was not happy, and once I was off the bus, I rang them back. A long, and not particularly pleasant, conversation ensued. The upshot was that the fault lay with the DWP in Cardiff (now why does that not surprise me), who had somehow listed my appeal with the wrong panel. Apparently, each judge has a specialty, not to mention that they receive the case files a few days before so that they can read up and know what's going on. I still don't fully understand it, but my case had been sent to the wrong panel, and so the judge had said he/she couldn't hear it. I don't know if they had read the case file, or not but whatever had happened the appeal was cancelled and I now have to wait for another one to be set. I was angry, and upset. But as with all bureaucracies, it doesn't matter about the individual, they don't care. It's just "oops sorry" and then you just have to deal with it. No care about the impact on people, no attempt to make it right, no consideration of resolving it so that the person (me) doesn't lose out, and certainly no indication that they will learn from their mistakes. Can you imagine them being so understanding if I'd made the error? I'll just wait for you to stop laughing. Glass of water? All ok now? Good good.... So that was the start to the week, thankfully it did get much better from then on.... Mum and I decided to wander round town, and I found a dress for my cousins' wedding, which really cheered me up. And it was on sale, which cheered me up even more... I'm still waiting to hear about the appeal but I'm not holding my breath.
Sadly A has been really poorly for the last few days. He started with an ear infection on Wednesday which the doctor initially wanted to treat by seeing if he could beat it himself. Unfortunately he couldn't, and was back to the docs on Friday, being given an antibiotic ear spray. However it doesn't seem to be working, he is still having a lot of ear pain, and swelling and can't hear properly. I know all teenagers have selective hearing but this is genuine. Without paracetamol and ibuprofen his temp goes up, and he gets very lethargic, and even in this heat will feel cold. As I write this he is curled up on the end of the sofa covered in a blanket. I've had to turn the fan off, so I am melting. He is cold. If he's no better tomorrow morning then I will have to get in touch with the doc again.
Having A off school made this morning interesting, as I had a docs appointment myself, and then a physio appointment. I don't like leaving him on his own when he's ill but having dosed him up with his painkillers etc., and tucked him up in bed, off I went. The docs was just for a medication review - much needed. The doc I saw is lovely, I really like him, he's known us for 13 years now and is very good at remembering details etc., about us. Anyway, I'm glad that I saw him, because the news wasn't great. I'm being sent for a precautionary ECG on Thursday, because of some palpitations I've been having. He's pretty sure that it's related to my anxiety but he wants to make sure. At the same time, oh joy, I have to have blood tests (thyroid plus others) because (and this is really upsetting) despite my dieting and despite the exercise I've actually put on weight. Am really down about this. Especially after the exertions of last week, when I know (looser clothes) that I lost some weight. I've had the thyroid tests before, and it's always been negative, so I don't expect anything different this time. But I guess it has to be ruled out. I have to go back to see Dr R in a month or so to discuss the results etc.
So after that it was off to physio, where I was able to ask about the whole situation with my knee (which has, unsurprisingly, been very very painful after last week). I also told him about the whole weight thing, and he mentioned thyroid as well. He has also given me some new exercises to do. The old ones were easy, and didn't seem to be doing anything, so he has suggested working different muscles. I can say that when he had me try them out there, I could definitely feel the effects...so that's good. Now for the bad: apart from a short (20 min) cycle ride every day (if I can manage it), I am not allowed to do anything else. Which, frustratingly, rules me out of doing the Race for Life this Sunday. Funnily enough, given that I can hardly walk the 1/3 mile to the docs without keeling over from pain, he feels that walking 5k (and in the predicted heat as well) would be a bad idea. I am annoyed, frustrated but (guiltily) also slightly relieved. I had been very concerned about my ability to complete the 5k, and was really worrying that I'd do more damage. He concurred. I am also under instruction to use my stick. I've been trying to manage without it, not wanting to get dependent, but have been told not to be so daft, and that I must use it. If anyone has sponsored me, and wants the money back, please let me know. I truly understand. I'd also like to apologise to the Marshall's and to Cancer Research for letting them down.
So that's me now. About to get back on the dissertation train, hoping that I can work through the heat (which is melting me), and get as much done as possible before A breaks up for the summer holidays a week tomorrow!! Emotionally, mentally, I'm struggling but keeping going. Lots of emotions churning around, and a lot of bad feeling inside. I'm hoping that the dissertation will help to distract me, and get me through this. In the meantime, just venting out here has, as usual, helped. So I'm off to see if I can cool down before bed..... :)
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