Happy Hump Day everyone :)

Ahhh I am enjoying the sunshine....which means, of course, that it will disappear tomorrow...not least because I'm planning on going for a cycle ride with my friend...fingers crossed that the rain stays away until after lunch..... Went for a nice ride into Uni today, it was lovely in the sunshine, even if the wind was a bit strong and almost blew me backwards at times......

I was in Uni to see Karl about my PhD proposal..which, I'm pleased to say, is coming together. I finally understand how to write the trickiest part of it - which is the bit where I have to look at what has already been written and then say how I will improve/take the argument further...which sounds ok until you realise that this means criticising historians who are at the top of their field..and here's me, an MA student saying, yes but I can do so much better...it's terrifying...but as Karl pointed out, part of it is showing the confidence to do it, without going OTT, selling my arguments and theory - whilst realising that when I actually do the work it will probably change significantly...ah you gotta love academia..it's insane.... lol. Anyway, I came out of the meeting feeling much better, more confident etc., and I've already read and taken notes on another 3 articles today - so it's all good.

Ended up having to take A to the doctor today, as the rash hadn't gone away. Fortunately it's not shingles (unless it is shingles, but shingles behaving totally out of the norm i.e. on both sides of the body at the same time)...so we have steroid cream and we'll see what happens......Interestingly yesterday on facebook there was 'discussion' about teenage behaviour, as in how often they behave in a 'Kevin and Perry' style (for those of you not in the know, K & P were two Harry Enfield characters - Kevin was a lovely lad until he turned 13 - at midnight on his birthday he morphed from a sweet boy to a teenage nightmare....all "It's not fair" and stroppy....totally accurate portrayal of teenage-dom)......anyway today A decided to go all 'Kevin and Perry' at the doctors - he walked in, texting and when I told him to put it away he stropped, and then sulked in the chair. Luckily we were seeing one of the nicer doctors, who doesn't take any nonsense and he soon sorted A out...but oh my word, I was so embarrassed.... I'm sure I never behaved like that when I was a teenager *ignores spluttering noise emanating from my father*

Anyway, after all that it's been a good day. I'm now enjoying chilling out and am reading The Devil Within by Stephanie Merritt - it's an account of her life with depression (and what turned out to be bi-polar disorder)...I'm reading it and recognising so much of me in her life, we had similar upbringings and her descriptions of depression are spot on. It's comforting to read and to realise that I'm not the only one. I highly recommend it. Her description of how ashamed we all are about depression is scarily accurate and even when she was writing the book, she would tell people it was about psychology rather than admit the truth. It's so sad that there's still so much stigma about depression. I get bolshy about it, and front up and talk but that takes so much effort and really I just want to hide... As I said, today has been a good day but tomorrow could be different...I don't have control over it. I just get on with it, and I've learnt to let myself be...if I'm having a bad day then I don't push it, because that doesn't help, it just makes things worse. All I can say is that having this blog definitely helps. Writing it down really is therapeutic. Music also helps; I was feeling bad last night, not sure why (apart from A being a stroppy brat) and so I took myself off to bed and listened to some music and gradually calmed down....

Right, time to stop writing, this entry is plenty long enough :)