Facebook friends......and others.........

Heyyyy I'm back...I know you all missed me loads....lol... I was just too knackered last night to do anything other than veg on the sofa before dragging my sorry backside up to bed..... Ten hours sleep (plus one afternoon nap) later and I feel much better...

Friday night was a late one, I had to stay awake until Clare got back because I had her house keys...then we ended up watching an ancient episode of 3-2-1 (Clare got very excited when she saw Dusty Bin) which was random....was very funny to see how excited they all were about a 14 inch telly, a MASSIVE video recorder (kids, ask your parents if you don't know what one of those is) and a computer which was "state of the art" - am sure it was for its time but oh boy, the graphics were sooooo bad.... Anyway, after that little trip down memory lane I finally got to go to bed..... It's weird how not sleeping in your own bed can affect sleep and dreams... Clare lives on a busy road and normally it doesn't bother me but this time I was aware of the traffic noise. It took me a while to get to sleep and when I did I had a nasty dream...it was realistic, in the sense that everything that happened was possible (so no aliens and I wasn't a size 10), which made it worse...so I woke up feeling a bit shaky.... Fortunately for me my adorable god-daughters arrived home just after I'd surfaced....so I had lots of cuddles from them, and then promptly had to sit and watch kids tv with them as well.....iCarly, So Random and the one with a cute kid in which has Lucky in the title....then I persuaded them to let me watch Tom and Jerry - before we watched the end of Tangled..I did like that actually.... Then it was time to take S to her dance class in Henley, she is very good at it and it was nice to see her learning her ballet steps....but then (sadly) I had to go home so they dropped me at the station and I managed to catch the train with more time to spare than on Friday...

It wasn't a bad journey home but I was shattered. A was supposed to be staying at a friends house but plans changed (after I'd shopped and not bought him tea..ooops).... He wasn't in a great mood, being rude and disobedient again...my coping mechanism wasn't working so well due to tiredness so I took myself off to bed...ahh sweet blissful sleep....it does help to make the world seem better.. Today he was grumpy again, but took himself off out to see friends, which seemed to cheer him up. I lazed around, watching the F1 grand prix and then the tennis whilst tidying the lounge - yay for me.... I enjoyed watching Murray in the final - pity he lost but he did play very well and I felt for him when he was so upset. I was actually asleep at that point - not that the match was boring, I fell asleep in the rain break and only woke up as Murray finished talking to Sue Barker... I hope that he comes back and wins a grand slam final, he's a nicer, better person than some people give him credit for and one comment (a joke which some people seem to want to take seriously) has been blown out of all proportion... I do love Wimbledon, am watching the mixed-doubles final as I write this (the rain is hammering down on the roof of centre court so hard that it's overwhelming the sound of the racket on the ball...proper loud), and I can't wait to watch the Olympic tennis.....not long to go now...

Anyway, today has been a good day. Seeing Clare over the weekend has been a huge help, I feel safe in her house and because I know Reading I wasn't too freaked out about being away. It is good to be home, and the overwhelming feeling of fear and sadness has lifted somewhat. It sneaks back in occasionally, but it's not ever present, and for that I'm very grateful. I'm still feeling shaky and anxious in terms of some situations and I definitely don't want to go outside my comfort zone..which brings me to the title of this blog entry.... my facebook friends.............

Next weekend I'm heading over to Southampton to spend some time with people I've got to know through the Jack Marshall facebook page. Now, normally meeting new people would freak me out but in this instance I'm excited and I can't wait...so why the difference...well, I've actually met some of these lovely people already and the other two I've chatted to on FB and twitter... I feel as though I know them, I'm comfortable with them and I know that they are lovely people...so the excitement is for meeting people I already consider to be friends, rather than fear over meeting new people..... The same applies to the Ball I'm attending in September, I've talked to so many of the people I'll meet there and I consider them to be friends... I'm not worried about going, I'm excited and I'm very grateful as well...because it's the result of their actions and care that I feel this way. I've had nothing but support and love from them, and along with my other friends and family, they are the reason I've kept going when at times I've just wanted to hide away. It's definitely a 21st century phenomenon, this making of friends online, and we are, rightly at times, concerned about how genuine some people are, but I also think that we shouldn't miss out on fabulous friendships just because they're online ones (at least at first).... Facebook is criticised at times, and rightly so in some cases, but it is amazing for me. I can keep in touch with one of my oldest friends (in terms of how long I've known her, not her age, lol) who lives in Australia because of Facebook...both of us are busy with kids and other things, and writing letters/phone calls just aren't always practical...FB allows us to check out what's going on in each others lives and to 'watch' the children grow up - we've never met the other's children (one day it will happen) but through photo's and updates we can see what they're up to... I've also been able to keep in touch with family member, who normally I may not see for months.... I'm not trying to 'sell' FB or to defend it's faults (there are way too many ways for people to abuse others etc. through it for my liking) but I'm also a bit fed up of having to put up with the roll of the eyes from some when I mention friends from FB or when I'm apparently on FB 'too much'.... The boost I get from my friends has been, at times, the difference between going to bed smiling or in tears....likewise, I feel able to support others, and I'm happy that I can, via the friendships I've made.... So, yeah, I'm excited for Friday and I'm smiling when I think about the weekend.....and that can only be a good thing......

Right, I'm off to watch men in uniform on my telly box..... Happy Sunday evening everyone :)