What day is it today?........................

No, seriously I really keep forgetting what day it is.....and that's the least of it... So far today I've looked straight at Purdy-cat and called her Taff, forgotten several words (and no I can't remember which ones they were), put the pans full of water on the stove but neglected to put the pasta and veg *into* said pans....and that's a good day.... Yesterday I failed to write the correct version of "they're", putting "their" instead - which if you know my family is a crime just short of kicking a cute puppy....More to the point, it's really not like me... Grammar and spelling have always come naturally to me, I've never had to think about it before, but now I'm making ridiculous errors and sometimes I swear that what I've typed is not what comes up on the screen... I think it's probably a side effect of the meds I'm taking but I'll be honest, I am starting to worry. This has been getting worse over the last few months and the more it happens the more worried I get. I think that I'll ring the doctor and ask him whether it's the meds or whether I'm losing my mind. Of course this would be happening now when I've got to write the best PhD proposal ever, plus write 15,000 words of MA dissertation.... *sigh*

Anyway, I kept A home from school today....mainly because he spent most of the night coughing and sneezing, and was running a slightly high temp this morning. This lurgy is not fun, it mimics the start of a cold, and brings in the old flu-shivers but never actually develops - so you just feel icky enough not to want to do anything but not so bad that people can tell you're unwell, so they think you're skiving... Don't get me wrong, I don't want a cold or the flu, but neither do I want something which makes me feel lousy but doesn't see fit to actually be a proper illness... I took my sulky bum back to bed this afternoon, and had a good sleep.. And when I woke up I even managed to write some more words of the PhD proposal..yay me.. I'll hopefully finish it tomorrow...I can't wait - for some reason I'm struggling to concentrate on the MA dissertation whilst the proposal is on my mind. 

Tomorrow I am going to look after my friend J's little boy, N....he's a little whirlwind and I can't wait.... J's husband L has an awards ceremony to go to, so I volunteered to look after N....it's going to be fun...just what I need to take my mind off all the stuff which has been happening.... I'm hoping that having a break from thinking about this flipping proposal will help me to calm down a bit, and that when I get back onto it, I'll be inspired.... Of course the other good thing about looking after N is that I'll have to get dressed.. Yes, shamefully, I have stayed in my pj's all day today...which, to be fair, is unusual for me - normally I have to get dressed no matter how lousy I feel. But for some reason I didn't feel like it today. So I didn't. I may be a bit fragrant but since it's only the cats who get close enough to notice, I'm not bothered.... There are huge advantages to being single sometimes ;-)

Also, I think I may be onto something in my job hunt. I received an email today advising that the local library service are advertising for casual workers....I so could do that job....so tomorrow I intend to write the letter telling them that I'd be an amazing member of staff for them, and that they'd be foolish to turn me down...then I'm employed..well hopefully.... People who know me will realise just what a perfect fit this job is... I love books. Yes I know it's not just about books. In all seriousness, this would be a great job, enough flexibility to complete my studies, but money to enable us to eat etc.... And a job to get the JSA/DWP and all the others who seem to think I'm living the life of riley on JSA, off my back!!! 

Speaking of that, and excuse me for this, but it's time to have a little rant..... Whilst I'm well aware that there, clearly, are people who are living the high life whilst on benefits I'M NOT ONE OF THEM!!! I'm so sick of being treated like thieving, sponging scum... I never have money left over at the end of the month, and whilst I'm able to manage, in no way am I buying treats. It may not be bad to teach your kids that they can't have everything they want, but just for once it would be nice to be able to buy A a treat... and don't get me started on Christmas...the whole point about that for me, is to buy presents for people. I love going out and choosing them, but now I can't afford to. And it doesn't matter that people say they understand etc., because I want to do it... So when I see people saying that welfare should be cut etc., it does make me mad. I firmly believe that you can tell a lot from the way in which a society treats those who are less well off. If welfare is cut, then how will people live? Are we really going down the route of saying that those who don't have a job, or private support, should just starve? Because that is sickening. Yes it's annoying paying taxes, and seeing those taxes going to people who you don't think deserve it, but one day that person with no money and no support may be you....and then what... (to which the answer normally is "it won't happen to me" - ha, do you think I planned on being a single mother??? um, nope...) Then I get the "well I've earnt my way up, why should I pay for those who haven't" - and again I say, why not? What makes you so special that you don't have a responsibility to others? I'd much prefer to have a job, and money, and not to rely on welfare but right now I don't have the luxury of choice. There's a reason why we have centralised tax systems, and that's because leaving it to the goodness of people's hearts, sadly, doesn't work. Because naturally we're fairly selfish, not all of us to the same degree, and I know that many people would help others out. But these people who are avoiding tax and then say, well we shouldn't have government taxing and providing welfare, it should be done privately, I say - if you won't pay tax when you're supposed to and when it's legally required, why on earth should I believe that you'd do something out of the kindness of your heart when it's not legally required..... ok rant over.... sorry if I've upset people, I really didn't mean to...

I'm going to watch some men in uniform for a bit now, before going to bed.... night all :)