Ohhhh it's Wednesday...woohoooooo ...... 

I wasn't sure whether I'd actually blog tonight, mainly because I've been hard at work on my PhD proposal all day (written 2224 words - yay me) and my eyes hurt...but then I was on Facebook anyway so I thought, I won't let my people down..I'll brave the achy eyes and write....aren't you lucky? Ha

Once again A decided that he wasn't going to school today, and once again I rang the school and asked them to ring me back and....once again they didn't..... To be fair to A,, both of us do seem to have some sort of lurgy and I've already decided that he needs to get better rather than carry on arguing about going to school. If he feels half as bad as I do then he feels rotten, and he definitely has a slight temperature... Honestly, I am cross with the school...they know how much trouble I have getting him in, and yet they're just ignoring me....which suggests to me that they don't care about getting him in.... Maybe they don't bother listening to the messages on the attendance line, maybe they just forget to reply, I don't know but it's really annoying...ah well... two more days and then it's the holidays - woo hoo

I'm really pleased with how much work I managed to get done today, especially as I spent the morning feeling lousy and dozing on the sofa... I reworked the whole PhD proposal, and I'm much happier with it now. No doubt I'll read it tomorrow and think I need to start again...lol.... I just want to get it done and handed in, although I'm very nervous about not being accepted...There's definitely a knack to writing these things and I don't think I have it.... But I've been given some advice and have taken it which has, clearly, improved the overall impact. Fingers crossed and all that...

There's been a lot of discussion in the hoax busting group I'm in, about the mental health or otherwise of the people who perpetrate these hoaxes. Personally, it has annoyed me when the defenders of these individuals put it down to them being mentally ill....I don't think that is fair to those of us who have a mental health issue, and who manage NOT to hoax and scam innocent people by pretending to have cancer. It's really quite surprising, just how many people do have 'silent' illnesses - anxiety and depression, for example. There's so much taboo still about them and I don't like that. We shouldn't be ashamed of it. It sucks but it's not a crime to have mental health problems. I know that when I was so bad a couple of weeks ago, the only thing which kept me going was the fact that I could be open and honest in this blog - and that in turn gave me the confidence to a) reach out to other people and b) do what I needed to do to get better, even though that was to hide away and nest with the cats. I realised that I'd do that anyway, only at least this time people knew why I was doing it. See, when we don't tell the truth, whether through shame or fear or whatever, we just hurt more and have more guilt. Don't get me wrong, I was still feeling bad and guilty and all that, but there was a difference from how it had been previously. Right now the anxiety of that time has receded, but it's still there. The difference is that I'm able to control it and deal with it..whereas two weeks ago I couldn't.. and no, I don't know why...I'm just strange.... 

Again though, I can see the role that the internet has played in this. Whilst it undoubtedly enables the sociopathic nutters to perpetrate their scams, it also has an amazing ability to draw people together when they need help. The hoax busting group may have started to, duh, bust hoaxes but now it's lovely to see how we're all supporting and helping each other through the crap that's being thrown at us - whether it's illness (us or a family member or friend), or work stress, money, or just having a bad day, we can vent in the group and no one else but its members will know. Laughter, filthy jokes, sympathy and warnings not to google various things can all help lift the mood. Knowing that there's someone there can be an amazing feeling. Although I have to admit, I'm itching to start hunting out and taking down another hoaxer....

Right, enough rambling from me.....I need to go to bed before my eyes rebel any more.... Night all :)